Yeah, things really start to happen when I leave the apartment.
We met first at the gym, just one week ago. Me, the only woman in the weight room, trying to do bar squats in the least evocative way possible; him, a Latin American man in street clothes, his shiny black curls slicked back off his face. A woman! he must have thought, What is she doing with big, heavy bar?
He asked if I needed help. I did not.
Apparently my rebuff was too subtle, because he was back in a matter of minutes, this time saying, "I want to do some of these with you." As my mind raced, trying to untangle how two people could do squats at the same time with the same bar without the situation taking a horribly wrong turn, I set the bar down and said, "Um, okay."
It turned out he wanted me to spot, but does a man stronger than myself need little old me to spot him with a 20kg bar? No, he needs me to spot him, to feel faint at the sight of his flexing thighs and flashing green eyes. I was not up to the task. I looked at the ceiling, out at the pool, and generally tried to make myself unavailable in the case of a weight emergency. I did not ask him to return the favor and made sure not to smile as he walked away.
He returned for one more set, but I put on my best apathetic face and didn't make eye contact when we passed on the way to the locker rooms; and so, I thought we had parted ways for good.
I guess my sweat-drenched men's gym shorts were too sexy, my general odor too enticing, and my one-word responses too seductive, because when I happened to pass him on the steps to the library today, he recognized me immediately and went in for the kill. "You got lost?" he asked, laughing at his own joke. What? Like, on the way from the gym last week?
"No."
"You are looking very good."
"Okaaayyyy huh."
I thought that perhaps my extremely uncomfortable laugh paired with a sudden increase in pace followed by my intense absorption in a library computer would be enough of a hint. It was not. He was persistent.
"I just need one minute. Honestly you are looking very good and I need to see you again or I will die. Can I see you?"
Wow, for someone who speaks such weird, broken English (I am not doing it justice in my transcription), you really have the topical stuff down.
"No."
"Why?"
"I'm busy." This is not a reason, folks, but no means no.
"Not right now, maybe next year?" Another chuckle at his own brilliant comedy.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm busy all the time."
He thought that was funny. "No. Why not?"
I pulled out the big guns. "I have a boyfriend."
"It is not enough." He lingered until finally (the desired effect), he wandered away, still chuckling to himself in disbelief.
But wait, what? "It is not enough?" What is not enough? One boyfriend? Or it's not enough of a reason? And more importantly, why did it take me saying that I was with another guy for him to leave me alone? I find that to be the most frustrating point. He only abandoned the pursuit when he found that I might be "taken," because a single woman refusing him was just too much to wrap his big, shiny head around.
*Woman's smile = open invitation to men
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