When Men in Rome

Do as the Romans do. They wear headbands! Because how else are they going to keep those flowing Italian locks out of their eyes?

My opinion on men with long hair is made strictly on a case by case basis. Perhaps, as a lady who has rocked super short hair for some years now, I should be more lenient and accepting overall but guess what? I'm not. Because I've seen some pretty terrible ponytails on some dudes. Number one rule: Don't, don't, don't grow out your hair if you're balding. Even if you're in you're twenties and in denial about it, just don't. Because that top bit will never, ever catch up, and you will look like a fool.

That being said, I totally had a sight-only crush* on a ponytail guy all through college. Mind you, he had great, fluffy, wavy-ish hair, and his ponytail was very small. He was also the first dude I saw rocking the man headband (cloth only), so I'm not totally unfamiliar with the concept.

Even though I (kind of) tried not to notice, Roman men are (generally) pretty good looking. So I was okay with them growing out their hair, and I completely support their use of plastic headband to secure it in place. Like, this kind of plastic headband:



Only not on Nikki Cox. On a dude.

Or maybe this kind:

"Mine's funky!"

I was in Rome for three days, and believe it or not, I did more than just ogle the men. I also saw pretty much every important tourist/historically important thing to see, ate some really good and slightly less good gelato, bickered with my sister, stayed in the worst hostel ever, used my phrasebook to speak broken Italian, embarrassed my sister by bickering with her in front of her friends, and went on a pretty decent pub crawl. Rome is, as imagined, spectacular and full of more things to do than one visit allows time for. The only thing I didn't make it into was the Vatican itself. I went into the Vatican Museums, which includes the ridiculous series of signs that look like this:


So you're like, Oh! I must be close to the Sistine Chapel now! But then there's like 17 more of those signs and it takes you 45 minutes to an hour to actually get there. And then you're finally in, but you're not aloud to take photos! And even though everyone around you is sneakily doing it anyway as the guards are yelling "Silence! Silence!" to the crowds, you decide to just admire quietly and move on. At least, that's what I did.

The Sistine Chapel was beautiful and impressive, especially Michelangelo's use of perspective against the curves of the ceiling, but I have to say after all the signs and winding through other parts of the museum, it was a bit anti-climactic. Like, if that weren't the most packed room in the Museum, I might not have even known it was the Sistine Chapel, because the whole building was decorated with ceiling and wall frescos. And by the end of it, I was too tired and hungry to make my way over to the real Vatican, which my sister and her friends had gotten up at 6am (morning after the pub crawl) to go see without a line.

If you do make it to Rome, I would definitely get out to Villa Borghese, a huge park in the northwest of the city. There are several museums and a zoo around the edges of the park, and I highly recommend the Galleria Borghese, which has The Rape of Prosperina by Bernini, a pretty impressive sculpture with that oh-so-common Roman theme. There are also several locations to rent bikes, which I regrettably didn't do, and ride around the park.

Rome is full of history (obvs), and if my sister is right about European fashion, its also full of America's future. So look out for plastic headbands on the heads of men everywhere come next Spring, and be warned, men in Europe where purses as well.


*It's not that we didn't have the opportunity to converse, it's just that every time I had the chance to speak around him, I would completely freeze up. I was so afraid of saying something completely inane like, "Table," that I just didn't say anything at all.

This is how we do it

I was out at our favorite Flerien bar tonight, the Why Not? and as usual, they were showing awesome 90s music videos. Do you remember this? Because I forgot about it until tonight.


I love the random multi-cultural renaissance fair dance party and erotic consumption of fruit.

Canned Heat

Oh man, I really hope I look like this all the time when I'm dancing.



Like maybe I'm just doing a quick smell check? But still looking really cool. Unfortunately, I think I probably more often look like this.


Like a really sleepy zombie. That's probably what I felt like too.

Jay Smooth

Okay, as usual, I'm the last one to find out about anything on the internet. That is to say, I'm not a very aggressive blogger (note the weeks of absence), and I'm pretty useless when it comes to finding new blogs to read. I love me some Jezebel, and my WIG Lauren's blog is always a source of witticism and insight, but I think a combination of laziness and lack of internet savvy keep me in the dark. Oh, and as proven by my recent discovery, anytime I find anything new and awesome to read/watch, I tend to just sit down and do that for hours and hours instead of doing, like, anything else.

It was the Jezebels (as usual) who led me to ill Doctrine: a hip-hop video blog with a post on the whole Miss California v. Perez Hilton debacle. That's right, I may be in France, but I am mostly up to date on shit. Mostly. Anyhow, I watched Jay Smooth's take on the whole thing, and I was like, Who is this guy? And who edits his videos?

I still don't know the answer to that second question, but answer one is he's the host of the longest running underground hip-hop radio show in NYC, and he makes video blogs that at least make him seem like he knows what he's talking about. Plus he's adorable and energetic.

[Update: the embedded video doesn't seem to be working, so here's the link.]

See? Also, I watched that episode of Oprah, too. I usually watch Oprah because it's effing formulated to make you cry and fight it as I might, it pretty much works every time. That's right, I usually watch Oprah to exploit other people's horrific stories for a good cry, but this particular time, I had just stumbled upon it while channel surfing. I was similarly annoyed by the episode, particularly the division which pitted a panel of dudes representing "hip-hop" against a group of young women representing "feminism." I found it problematic that only men were representing the voice of hip hop (although they were really representing the voice of the industry), and that the women were made to seem whiny for not wanting to be called a bitch or a ho. But I wasn't able to deconstruct Russell Simmons' argument the way Jay Smooth did, and I am grateful to him for laying it out for me.

So in conclusion, ill Doctrine = my latest internet obssession and Jay Smooth = my new internet crush. Now to catch up on more videos and also back blog on my last two weeks in Italy. Whew. When will the madness end.

Dear France,

Sidewalks are for walking on, not parking your effing cars right in the way of pedestrians or MAKING U TURNS on narrow roads.

Side. Walk. For walking on the side. In French? Trottoir. Not put-your-car-on-me-all-the-time-oir.

Also, I really appreciate how your sidewalks are low enough for cars to pull up onto without popping a tire, but just high enough to be handicap inaccessible. Even at corners and driveways. Bastards.

-Disgruntled Pedestrian

Ew, gross

Some things are delicious, but should not be made available in canned form. Like this*:

Mushrooms. Blech.

This reminds me of when I used to go to Kindercare† and they made us eat all our peas before we were allowed to go play, only they were peas from a can and I seriously had to suppress my gag reflex every day forever that I ate lunch there. Canned peas are not the right color and I'm pretty sure stored in some kind of preservative syrup to make them not only last longer but be swallowed more easily by babies and the elderly. Gross. Mush. Gross.


*From my roommate's shelf in the food cupboard. Silly Germans.

†We switched to Kindercare after the assholes at La Petite did mean things like not let my sister give me a hug when I got there after school. And then yelled at her when she cried. This event seriously influenced me when I worked with kindergarteners last year. I always let them hug their siblings in the hall or the cafeteria, and tellingly, this was not an uncommon request. This has been a long side note.

New Conchords

Okay, I mostly love this song for the first line.



FOTC is putting out some good stuff this season. I think the music is a little bit less congruous with the episodes than it was in the first season (obvs because they're writing all new songs, rather than having years of previously-written work to choose from), but you can't not love Sugar Lumps. The dialogue continues to be amazing. I love Murray.